Who Wants To Commit Perjury?

When I was younger, like five or so, I used to believe that the sports leagues were government agencies. It made sense; their names were abbreviations, red, white and blue were in their color schemes, and often there were stars involved in the logos. When I found out that the NFL was run by a bunch of rich people instead of the government, I was completely crestfallen.

Now I'm wondering if I wasn't right all along.

Today the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee held a 4 ½ hour hearing to try and determine who is the bigger perjurer, Roger Clemens or Brian McNamee. What is this country coming to?

Seriously, both men walked into the Congress of the United States of America, swore to God Almighty to tell the truth, then told two completely contradictory stories while sitting at the same table.

Under oath:
Clemens: "I have never taken steroids or HGH..."
McMamee: "Make no mistake: When I told Sen. Mitchell that I injected Roger Clemens with performance-enhancing drugs, I told the truth."

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ. One of these bastards just committed perjury.

I don't know what I'm more offended over though, that one of these two guys have the balls to lie to Congress under oath, or that Congress is holding hearings to get answers about whether or not a baseball player got juiced like everybody else in MLB through what is now being called, “The Steroids Era.”

What business is this of Congress' anyway? Are we not at war? Seriously, because I thought we were at war. I could have sworn we were at war in Iraq and Afghanistan. I guess that's going well enough that we can focus on a game. A game!

Congress has created a media circus over these baseball hearings. From Mark McGwire refusing to answer questions, to Rafael Palmero wagging his finger, to today- blatant perjury by either one of the game's all time greats, or a confirmed scum bag- it has been a long road to nowhere.

Congress has about as much business in baseball as the Pittsburgh Pirates have in drafting appropriation bills. If you want to know the truth about all the shadiness that has taken place regarding steroids and baseball over the past thirty years, read the Mitchell Report, it's all there. There's no need to hold hearings, the only crime that has been committed is the waste of taxpayers' dollars.

Of course, this won't end here. Now that we know that either Clemens or McNamee has lied under oath, the media will set forth to prove one to be the liar that he is. This will obviously lead to federal charges of perjury, because lying to Congress under oath is a felony. Consider this, if somehow there were to be collected enough evidence to prove Roger Clemens lied today, he could land in federal “pound my ass” prison. All because he won't say what we all know, and because Congress wants to either make him admit it, or serve time.

The only court Clemens should be tried in is the court of public opinion, and the only business Congress should have in baseball is buying season tickets to Nationals games.

What a sad day for baseball, and what a sadder day for America.